lördag 5 november 2011

The Music of Our Souls

The man stared into my eyes and he said. Nothing is like it seems my brother. The blueprint is in place. The shift is happening as we speak. The corruption, the darkness, the veil is being lifted. 
The manipulators have lost power and what you see on the surface is just ripples of detox.


The multidimensional reality is aligning itself. Trust me.


His words struck a cord in being. They called forth the warmth of my heart and ice around it started to melt and memories of my time in mystery school and my adventures around the globe suddenly raised from the depth of my subconscious. Maybe all my experiences along the way were valid after all, even though I now was buried in the human condition and its ordinary existence.


Even though I had been blinded by the sun and had returned my mind had gradually become dull and lost its sharpness staring at the cave wall and its dancing shadows.


It was nice to look into this mans eyes and remember all the territories in my own soul that had been explored but not been visited for quite some time. Together our presence showed no mercy for our small little struggling personalities and only the heartfelt souls presence could be felt. Wonderful.


Later the same night I open up my email to find the treasure from my time in the north.
It was nice to connect with so many souls that I hold dear during my Nordic adventures.
One weekend in the countryside of Sweden together with a beloved brother the music of our souls awakened, and it was that material that greeted me in my email box.


I open the files and listened to the winds, our voices and the sound of guitar and drums.
A blissful journey that I wish to continue. It brought me so much happiness to my heart.


A times there is a challenge to totally to surrender and feel our hearts, since it many times plays in a whole different division than our fearful minds.
The mind haunts us as long as its not in service of our hearts.


During a journey many years ago my mind was shattered to pieces. 
I have been trying to recover ever sense. Something shifted inside of me then. Something hard to explain. For those of you that have seen the movie the matrix, it felt to me like I took a red pill...and from that moment there was no turning back.


My mind was no longer the dictator to measure my experiences. There was another deeper more subtle part of me that also had a voice. I realized that this new whispering part of me would bring much more joy and happiness and harmony to my being.
The catch was only, I had to listen, and even though I had seen through the totality regime of my mind it had been doing its commercials for many years...and it was afraid of this power shift and what that would mean for its own existence. It knew just like I, that it had been discovered, exposed, and that its rule was now compromised. As long as I was not watching or being unaware,- it could do whatever it pleased. Strangely enough I discovered even though my mind was afraid of this new power dynamic that I choose to call my heart, it was somewhat relieved even though resistant.


It seem to me as it would do better as the role of a servant rather than a master even though it had become very identified wearing  a crown.


I have been integrating that experience ever since it happen, and I notice that the whispering voice of my heart gets louder when I get silent, listen and become still.
I am grateful that I was lucky to find this whispering voice. 
Maybe in our loud western culture its easy for it to get buried forever.


When do we truly find time for ourselves, and even if we do, how do we deal with all the haunting that comes from the shadows of our past and dysfunctional relations that have left us restless.


The culture are happy to hand out distractions to bring us further away from our center, and our home become everywhere else but within. Occupied by comparing ourselves seeking our reflections in others, our inner waters never get still enough so that we can get to know our own reflection. Few experiences give us the opportunity to witness that which goes on inside of ourselves. Time in nature or exploring meditation and sometimes even a personal crises is what gives us a break from the busyness of the world and its many distractions and provides moments of reflections.
In those rare moments where invading impressions from the world looses there hold on us there is room for contemplation.

At least that has been my experience. 


Thanks to my beloved Nordic Brother to have put our jam session together and sent it to me. 


Love to all who lay there eyes upon my blogging experience.


And I will leave you with this...


Maybe our minds does not have the solution, but our hearts do.

I have spoken.

Fredrik

torsdag 3 november 2011

On American Soil...

Back on American soil I realize my shorts are still in sweden somewhere. 
So if any of you swedish buddies find them let me know.  
To all of you that I managed to see in my very tight schedule-Thank u. To all of you that I did not managed to see, Iam sorry, but my trip was mostly about hanging out with my family.

The stories that lives in us shape us. They been handed down to us through generations. 
At times we feel we are caught in a cobweb of this stories, until we take a look at them, and see them in the light of awareness, so that we can liberate ourselves and find the freedom to tell our own story. The primary relations that brought us into this world, and the relations upon which they stand becomes the foundation for the relationships we create on our journey of self discovery. 
There comes a time of full embrace when we get enough self awareness to regain our free will. 
A time when we can tell our own story, not longer haunted by stories from the past, or seeking just like children to be acknowledged by our peers and ancestors. We grow up. 
We become our own storytellers.                 
We can take the best and the worst of that which was given and no longer live like an unconscious expression of others stories.
By healing the stories that was handed down to us inside of ourselves we are given an opportunity to evolve those stories and tell our own.                                                     
Its a liberating feeling to arrive to that place. To be initiated into ones life.
Some have more stuff to work out that others. But in the end its all a gift. 
A gift of self discovery and self knowledge. And the person with the most wounds to heal and tend to, might end up to be the most blessed. 
Interestingly wound can be traced back to an old galeic word meaning blessing. 
We can participate in our evolution, or not.
If we do life becomes an adventure of one discovery and growth-experince after another. 
We are aligned with evolution- the process of life.
If not, i think evolution will hit us right in the face and reflect all that we are not willing to look at through life's drama and circumstances. 
At times I grief that I did not make it to this destination earlier. Other times I am just so very grateful since I know I could have arrived at the end of my life as well, or maybe never.
If I could do something in my life that would bring me joy, it would be to be that role of a pathfinder. A guide that could provide some support as one is on ones road of self discovery. 
Maybe help to prevent some of life's many detours but then again they serve their purpose to so I don't know. We are all on our own journeys and maybe that's just the bottom line. 
There is no need for guidance, assistance or anything else or is it ?
I guess if we can hold space for each other, to realize certain things about our own nature, and to assist each other in getting a direct experience of what we are, and what we are not, that would be a good thing...
When I was young I remember looking for a rolemodel.
Someone to look up to that would teach me about life's mysteries and share stories around a campfire. Like a wise man or something. Someone to talk to about life and its different depths and challenges.    My father had left and where not available and my father that had taken his place where very loving but not my fantasy idea of a obi one kenobi. A gandalf, a sage.
I came to realize that the only way to find this man, was to try to find him within myself.
Cause he where no to be found, that man of magic who would initiate me into the mysteries of life. 
I remember that longing so well. Like if it was yesterday. 
If i could do something in my life I would love to meet that longing for someone else as and elder. Someone just like me wondering if there would be someone out there who actually could provide some valuable wisdom and life-skills for life's challenges and many times confusing situations.
Gosh just to be part of a beautiful mentoring program that would assist people just like myself thirsting for self-discovery and guidance.
There probably is a bunch of those programs, especially here in the states i have discovered. 
But i don't know about Sweden, if they exist there.
If anybody knows about them, let me know...                                                                        

I use to make the mistake to think we as people are all the same. I use to think that my own curiosity about the essence of life and the big questions and its depths was shared by us all. 
I came to realize that the stuff I am fascinated by most people don't give a damm about. 
And to some its just some luxury entertainment.
I can see that perspective, but nothing make me more happy than to attend a TED conference or the conscious life expo in los angeles. Its amazing and its fun.
I remember when I a s a young man went into the theosophical society on karlaplan and I was the only young guy around with all these white bearded old guys. 
I loved it as others in my age where out drinking looking to score.
I guess there is an old man that lives inside me.
Its tough to care about things that others don't give a shit about. Let me tell you. =)
Its like a part of you don't exist, because it has no space to breath and be.
My father told me taking my letters into consideration. Hey Fredrik, i cant write what you write in a lifetime so how about just sending me something more basic. 
I guess my basic has always been different but iam learning as I evolve.
Many times I forget that what is basic for me might not be basic for another.

In fact it might just be annoying which also should be taken into my consideration as i open my mouth.
I was told once by a wild man on a beach who was dealing with something called the human design system. Looking at your birth numbers and profile he told me ; Fredrik. You should shut up. All the time.
and if u must speak, say, may i speak, see if u are allowed than speak, or better than that wait to be invited to speak. But I replied, than I would never speak if I would wait for  people to invite me to speak. Then he said. In that case you will never speak!
I look puzzled by this man statement but something did hit home in my core.
He also said, your visions and inspirations are not for you to realize. 
It will only give you a headache. Let others realize them and get inspired by them. 
I felt relived and yet funny about this man´s statements.
I also thought. How will I go about taking on this challenge raised by a mother who talks all the time ? Maybe its something I learned to do i asked myself...
Cause I am more silent inside than many people I meet that don't say much.
Life is a paradox.
And with that sentence, I have run out of words for this time.
Until we meet again. Hurry slowly...
Be well.

The end of times and beginning of something new ?

The End Of Times or the beginning of something New...

So here we are in the end of times.
 At least thats what they say. The words from the wise ones. Or is it the beginning of eternity, the birth of a new era. Aliens, genmanipultated food, financial crises, crop circels, kim khardasian, war, famine, starvation, excess  and people loosing their minds in this white mans coca cola dream. The fall of an empire based on greed seems to be happening and we are killing ourselfves and our earth in the process.
But maybe a positive outlook would be to look as every crises as something that often happens before change. That when the darkness is as thick as it can be we are called to turn on the light. I know it happened in my own case. When death came to place himself on my shoulder, he taught me about life. I had spend my life running from shadows seeking light in myself and others. Seeing what I wanted to see rather than what was really going on. Blessed by a graceful woman and death coming to be my keeper I had no choice but to wake up to reality. Trying to bury darkness in myself and others were no longer an option. Maybe thats what happening right now as we speak on a global scale. There is no more room for lies. The shit is hitting the fan. The darkness is coming up to the surface to be adressed and confronted for all of us whetever we like it or not. Often we dont I guess. But from were I stand now, its the best thing that ever happen to me. Being addicted to light, running from another blissfull experince to another made me ungrounded...unrealible, ...and my commitment to be in light and deny the darkness and the shadows made me hollow, so hollow that finally the shell cracked.
Wihout facing my own darkness and shadows, in myself and others I was a prisoner.
Blinded by the light.
The dark night of the soul was my salvation. My moment of truth and liberation.
I guess we all have our cycles. But our life will keep on mirroring everything we hide from ourselves in all our relationships and experinces until we do. Until we confront our totality. Until we look within. If we dont...life and death will come to visit us in such a way...that finally we do. And gosh that can be very painful,...we were afraid to look within when we could have saved ourselves so much suffering if we did.
At least that has been my own experince.
One of the more painful companions to live with is judgement. I lived with it all my life. Concioussly and unconcioussly. I realized that this companion of mine really wanted to be loved by my heart, and that judgment only lives where understanding yet have to arrive. As understanding emerges judgment becomes dicerning which has a totally differnt quality to it, at least if you ask me. Right and wrong, dark and light, polarities seems to serve a higher reality, principle of unity where it all comes togheter when one starts defrost the frozen heart thats been silented by our chattering minds.
Our minds run in circles and it exhausts itself. Somehow I was never trained to be fully in the heart and maybe many of us have hurts and traumas we carry around unequiped to face that which brought us damage. We decide to live in are heads and it only leads to more suffering since we are driving without a driver. It all seem so hopelss at times, like a rat race that never ends.
We neglect our hearts wisdom and live enstrained by our thoughts and all our relationships and experinces become somewhat robotic and maybe loses its quality lof life. Our hearts become frozen due to the cold enviroment of our minds. As we emerge into our hearts, the ice cracks and its like we are seeing everything with a childs eyes again for the first time.
White mans world and culture is based in the mind and maybe that why he might be so lost ? He lives in sqaures and obsessed by his technologies but maybe his gadgets cannot save him from himself. We have been rasied in this wounded culture and some of us look to the earthwisdom traditons and its people for answers.Others find that to be romantic and maybe even pathetic, as they click on the iphone and say to themselves,...this is human nature, to destroy ourselves,...that is who we are.
Enviroment playes a big role in ones conciouss evolution and if someone asked me how I would be the master of the world I would say, controll the enviroment of the people, and then you controll there conciouss evolution. I could controll that enviroment for the benefit of all or I could controll it for the benefit of me. I guess that depends on the person I would choose to be.
Anyway the world in its suffering and its joy seems to serve evolution even though sometimes I wonder if my science fiction title "Stolen Evolution" is more true than fiction.
At the bottom of the swamp lies the treasure.
And with those words, my second attempt to blogg have been finalized.
I have spoken,
and when I write in english I write in a flow and Iam writing at  swedish computer, so expect many spellproblems since I dont know how to spell check on this computer.
Sorry about that my international friends.
Today I will seek the sanctuary of the nordic nature,
All the best and warm embrace to you who choose to read this.
Let Love Be
Fredrik
walking between the worlds











Fredrik föds in i bloggens värld

Fredrik skriver en hel del. Eller ibland. Då och då. Han tycker om det. Någon sa. Starta en blogg,...det är enkelt. Det är bra. Det är helande. Det är kul. Är det verkligen bra att dela sin inre resa med okända i cyberrymden. Man lämnar orden bakom sig framför sig och så blir man själv och andra ett vittne till deras process. Varför inte. Jag klickade mig in här. Kanske är detta en början. Kanske är det början på ett slut. Vem vet...
Det återstår att ses. Kanske fungerar detta.
Låt oss se.

Fredrik har talat.